Frustration.
I'm not in a very sane state of mind right now. I've been pacing back and forth, trying to find out answers to very, simple questions.
Caution, you may not want to read on. So don't, if you do not want to.
Happy Chinese New Year?
What's Chinese New Year?
It's a traditional festival celebrated by Chinese, for Chinese, with Chinese. There're reunion dinners on the eve, "bai nian's" and "kai nian", loosely translated to "visiting" and "opening of the year". And there's the highly anticipated hongbaos. The celebratory mood lingers while we paint our towns and houses red with traditional decorations. We use the festive season as a reason to indulge in gambling, hoping lady luck picked us this new year. We visit each other's houses, exchanging oranges and well-wishes, eating the festive foods and growing fat.
But there is the remote possibility that, insofar we enjoy the lovable break, it really isn't anymore than, that - a break. And for some of the unlucky ones (read: me), we may find a break in our break. Be it work commitments, family commitments, friend commitments, the break doesn't seem like a break after all. We don't really allow ourselves to rest, do we? Or maybe we aren't the least cognizant of any significance in that.
I don't have many relatives in Singapore. And for the two relatives that we do have in Singapore, we barely maintain contact; the animosity really makes me wonder how thick blood is. For the record, I don't even know my cousin's name. Happy Chinese New Year? I hardly see a significance in that, so little that I can't help but feel envy at times, at the families who are enjoying a nice get-together, feasting and talking like they've not met in months. Maybe that's why they call it a "reunion dinner".
Then again, I don't see it happening to me. Do I want it? Yes. No. I don't know. I never really knew my relatives, so reunion dinners represents to me a queer concoction of anticipation, fear, and disappointment. Anticipation in hope that I can get to know them. Fear of knowing them. And disappointment when I realise we've all grown too far apart to ever get to know one another. How does it feel like having a cousin you're close to?
I want to have those feelings.
But I'll never have them.
Ruixion.net
Rui@zestified will be shifting to Ruixion.net with immediate effect.
The domain zestified.com will be expiring in a week's time, and so I've decided to get a new domain name instead - Ruixion.net.
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Those were the times,
Jurong East Entertainment Centre
Jurong East Entertainment Centre (JEC), was an awesome place. It wasn't particularly packed with stores, so it wasn't flooded with people either. It was a nice, little place, with just enough for my friends and I. Pizza Hut, KFC, MacDonalds, Kopitiam - where we hung out at. K Pool, K Box, where we luxuriously spared ourselves once awhile.
Jurong Regional Library was right beside JEC too; and it was such a perfect location to grab snacks or have meals while studying at the library. God knows how much time I spent there during my Secondary 2 year, in preparation for streaming. I had been inspired to do well for the End of Year examinations, and JEC, along with JRL, supported me through those times. (Not a very tangible expression, but nonetheless I do mean it.)
The MacDonalds was also where I rushed my art work preparation with my beloved friends. Those memories were fond, and unforgettable. How we all coloured our preparatory pieces, and went to-and-fro the photocopying shop. I won't forget either, the three packets of fries we bought, which we almost couldn't finish.
There was also this Prima Deli outlet which sold rather nice waffles. I remember always buying one whenever I felt like giving myself a treat. And there's the Jolli Bean right in the middle, and I loved the cheese pancakes.
Those were the times, that I enjoyed my lower Secondary school days with. It was simple, but I had fun. I had so much fun, I never thought how the future would have been like. I had wanted to stay in those moments forever. I still do, now (:
But now JEC is undergoing renovation. We ain't going to see the JEC we once knew. Somehow, thinking of that, makes me sad.