Frustration.
I'm not in a very sane state of mind right now. I've been pacing back and forth, trying to find out answers to very, simple questions.
Caution, you may not want to read on. So don't, if you do not want to.
WHY, couldn't I have pushed a bit harder, and win the badminton match today?
WHY, didn't I manage to obtain the results that I had been aiming since J1?
WHY, did my stomach flu have to come during my Physics P3 and Math P1 paper?
I had planned to return to school to see how JJ performed for last year's A'Levels, but I couldn't bring myself to. I'm actually having a phobia of returning to school now. I'm afraid of reliving the scene, the scene where I didn't make it. Damn it, I had put in so much effort, but I still didn't make it. Would it have been better if I sent my Physics paper for review? Would I have gotten an A for it if I had reviewed the paper? Damn. I could have gotten it. I could have. Damn.
All the while, I had, together with you, aimed to have our names imprinted on the presentation slides when the results were announced for the top students. Have you forgotten?